We have all heard of the saying that says “No Pain No Gain.” which boils down to saying, if you ever want to succeed in life, if you every want to achieve something in life, if you want to be somebody in life, then you must be willing to go through some pain. For example, to achieve your fitness goals, you have to go through sore muscles and exercise regimens that are going to push you to your very limit.

Pain comes in different forms, there is the obvious physical pain, but also emotional pain, the pain you feel when you sacrifice your time, your friends, you miss out on life, so that you can achieve that one goal that is important to you. Therefore pain can be; sore muscles, sleepless nights, long hard days, broken dreams etc.

Pain is the one thing we would all agree, that we wished we would go through life without ever experiencing it. However, it is because we go through some pain in life, that our character is molded, so that we can become the person that we are. When we think about it, pain is actually a necessary evil in our lives, and we need it for us to grow.

Pain need not be at all negative. Once we accept that pain is necessary, once we accept that pain can be positive (in some instances), once we accept that pain helps us be strong, we now reach that level where we will EMBRACE our pain.

Here are my four reasons why:

1) Pain helps avoid further destruction:

Have you ever held your hand over a flame of fire. Do you see how fast you yank your hand from the fire? It is so fast you do not even think about it. The pain you feel from the fire, goes to your brain and brain ‘springs’ into action, and tells your hand, its too hot over there, you need to GET OUT….FAST! Now, if the brain does not relay that message, then your hand will surely burn, and we would talk about something totally different.  Pain helps stop further damage in your life, be it the pain of a cheating spouse, the pain of horrible boss, the pain of a stalled career, pain helps stop further destruction.

2) Pain helps you to re-focus:

As human beings, we do tend to get comfortable, to relax, to slack. We sometimes get off track on our life’s plans. We sometimes tend to loose focus, loose the reason we do what we do. We tend to flow with the wind. There are times in life, we need pain, to remind us of where we want to be. We at times to tend to settle for something, instead of going hard for the one thing that will make us truly happy. Pain helps us re-focus our energies.

You ever felt the pain of being passed over on a promotion? You ever felt the pain of seeing people you were in school together having achieved a lot more than what you have? You ever felt the pain of disappointment when you find out the one you love is cheating on you or is not the one you should be in your life? You ever go through a life experience, that at first is painful, but later you realize that that experience did in fact help you get back on track?

Pain helps you re focus you energies, your visions, your dreams, your passions and helps you get back on track to what you were supposed to be working on in the first place.

3) Pain makes you a better person:

There is a saying, “experience is the best teacher.” Basically, it means that, there are those lessons that your parents, relatives, teachers etc keep pumping into you, and somehow they do not seem to stick. Has your mum every yelled at you “How many times do I have to keep saying this?” Plenty of times, right.

However, there those lessons that life teaches us, that never have to repeat themselves. The pain those lessons bring, last so long, and is so vivid in our memories, that life will not have to re do that class again. The painful experiences teach us lessons, that help us be bigger and better people.

Have you ever found yourself saying, “I have gone through this before, I would not wish it even on my worst enemy.” The painful lessons that life teaches us, help us make better judgments next time, help us relate with others better, because we become conscious of the things we do, and how they affect those that love us, those that surround us.

4) Pain can be a fuel for your life:

If there is one thing that pain can do, is that it can last. Especially emotional pain, that is usually something that is hard to forget, or takes the proverbial “time will heal” for it to be dull and feel less hurtful. Sometimes, we hold on to the pain, not for revenge, not so that we can hurt others, but so that we can use that pain, to be a motivating factor, to be a driving force, to be a guide for us in our everyday lives, in the dreams we pursue, in the goals we aim to achieve.

Every time we want to slack, we want to relax, we want just let life move along easy breezy, the pain deep within becomes the one thing that drives us to take on the world head on. Most successful people, have one thing they have in common, the ‘pain of poverty.’ Having the knowledge of how tough life can be in a world of poverty, they have decided to make their life long goal, to be as far away as possible from the poverty line. The pain of poverty motivates them to be innovative, resilient, tough minded and most of all FOCUSED!


I acknowledge the fact that, pain, can sometimes do more harm than good. We can easily be the exact opposite of all these things. I however draw examples of many who have gone through painful experiences and decided that they will use those experiences for positive things. I cannot help but think of the Rwandese people who went through genocide in 1994, when neighbour turned against neighbour. There are many who wish revenge on the perpetrators of those horrible crimes. HOWEVER, there are a few, who chose to forgive, and embrace the very people they say murder their loved ones. It takes a special human being to come to that level. Those people, make a huge impact, and their kindness is never forgotten. We can all make a choice to make our painful experiences to be positive influences in how we approach our lives. It is not easy, but it can be done.

God help us all.

God bless you all.

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