Africa is a society where we do not show our emotions, where and a man is always taught not to show signs of weakness such us being emotional. The African Man is to be obeyed and adored, he is to be worshiped and we should be glad that we are in their presence. Yeah yeah I know most of you are already thinking of the way things have now changed, and that that man is an endangered species. I agree things are changing but we are not there yet! The African Man is still walking high up in the air as compared the the men in the more developed nations.
To be honest, valentines in Africa is still mainly for city folk, and young generation products of media houses and entertainment industry. How many of us saw our fathers carrying flowers, or even chocolate to our mothers and said happy valentines?? Just a handful and am being generous by giving that figure. The African Man is meant to be a provider of basic needs and pay school fees. If a lady found a man who did just that, she would be the envy of many, more so if he brought in a kg of meat to supplement the ‘skunje’ diet or the ‘githeri’ diet at least once a week or so. An African Man who did not use all his money in the bars drinking and making merry with his pals and the bar ladies kina waithera (you notice that most bar tenders are called waithera?)
An African Man did not walk side by side with his wife, let alone even holding hands as they walked. The African Man always walks ahead of his family, he carried nothing but a newspaper maybe, folded and under his armpit, as his wife and kids carries all the bags and luggage, and he would occasionally glance behind him and angrily remark that they are slowing him down and that’s why he never likes to walk with them. Poor lady carrying the kid on her front, the kiondo on her back with the other kids by her side dragging them along the dust filled paths. This same woman is expected to go and prepare a meal for his ‘loving’ husband once they got home. Even for the couple that were lucky enough to have a car, the African Man would be in his car honking his car horn every five minutes wondering what the hell his people were still doing in the house!! May be getting the food ready for that potluck that is in church, or busy making sure that his kids ate something small before they went to visit other people and therefore they would not embarrass him by asking for seconds, like they don’t have food to eat back home!
An African Man always had to get his water warmed for him, with some soap so that he could wash his hands before a meal, since HE was the one who was tired because HE was the one who went to work and HE brings in all the money in the house and HE provides for everybody and HE…..bla bla bla. The thing is that he got this treatment no matter what time of the night he got home 7p.m, 10p.m 2 a.m it did not matter, and we all know that microwaves were not available, few lucky ladies had gas, like I said lucky. This lady would then sit with the man until he was done to pick up the dishes and clean up before they retired to bed. She was off course expected to rise bright and early to get the kids ready for school, get his man ready for work, and get to the house chores before going to catch up on the latest gossip in the village.
Now I ponder this question, is this African Man expected to remember to treat his wife on a dinner date just because its valentine’s day, is he expected, a man of his caliber, to carry flowers all over to go and proclaim his love to his wife…..the fact that she bears his surname should be enough to show he loves her. Now do they go for a movie or should they watch news at 9 O’ Clock. No the African Man could not be bothered with all this crap you people see on television…. in fact that tv should not be watched unless he gives the okay!
On hind sight, I am glad that some things are changing….not all things are good but some are better than what we had before. It surely does not hurt anyone to take sometime to say ‘I love you’ or to show how much you appreciate that special someone that you are with. You might not want to carry flowers all round town, but however you do it, show them that you love them.